It is better to go to the house of
mourning than to go to the house of feasting;
for this is the end of everyone,
and the living will lay it to heart. (Ecclesiastes 7:2)
Funerals invite us to reflect on the meaning of life and death. They do so in different ways, depending on, e.g., whether the death was tragic or brought relief from suffering. Some funerals give us little reason to complain.
Abraham breathed his last and died in good old age, an old man and full of years, and was gathered to his people.
And Job died, an old man and full of days.
Some people, struck down by a stroke, live for a few more years beyond the time we might have allotted to them, years in which they are no longer truly "with us". What might be the meaning of such extra years?
Those who are no longer able to communicate with us, who seem to be already "dead to the world", cannot tell us what is going on for them. Do those who seem to be inattentive to the present moment, showing us no sign of recognition, live in memory and hope? Are they in the past and the future more than the present? We do not know but it would be hasty to conclude that there is no attentiveness at all based on the observation that they do not attend to us or that there is no communication at all based on the observation that they do not communicate with us.
What might be the meaning of such extra years to God? Why does he continue to give breath, functioning lungs and a beating heart to someone even
though we, who sit at their bedside, no longer get anything much out of this life and cannot be confident that the sick person does?
Is it maybe a sign that human life is precious in God’s sight? He does not discard us, once we are no longer useful to him.(In truth, God does not need our words and actions, even if he makes gracious use of them.)
Sustaining the life of someone who no longer speaks, no
longer accomplishes anything, seems wasteful.
And yet we see such "wastefulness" everywhere in
creation and take it as a sign of God’s lavish generosity. His giving is not circumscribed by our ideas of what we want
and need.
What might such years of silence mean to us who are looking in from the outside? They may remind us of our limits, our helplessness; we feel useless, wondering whether our presence with someone who shows no sign of recognition makes any difference. We may be challenged to show love even when there is no hope of getting anything back for ourselves and not even a sign that the love is appreciated. The bedside can become a place of desolation and with it a place to practice selflessness.
For those of us who live a much fuller life - and by and large enjoy it - surely it is also a safeguard against taking for granted what is ours only by gift and so a stimulus for gratitude. To paraphrase the Selkirk grace:
Some have life but no appetite for it.Some still hungry for life die.We have life and appetite for it,so let us praise God on high.
We have reason to praise God for the breath he gives us every day, for zest for life, for being able to relate to others. But as Christians we have reason to praise God also when our mortal life ebbs away because our life in Christ does not, and when our human relationships fade because God's relationship with us does not.
I am convinced that neither death, nor life …will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
