For the author, the church's witness to the nature of marriage as a life-long union of a man and a woman is of paramount importance. This would be compromised by conducting marriage services for divorcees whose former spouse is still alive. "The Church cannot corporately marry below Christ's standard. It stands before the world to proclaim that this is what Christ means marriage to be and what he says it is." (p19) In fact, he argues, this understanding of marriage is one that Christ brought into a Jewish and Roman world which had a less rigorous view of marriage.
Yet, recognising that the tragic end of a first marriage has sometimes been followed by an abundantly blessed second marriage, "I do not forbid good people who come to me for advice from embarking on a second marriage." (p19)
If they remarry, they will never again be able to bear a full and clear witness to our Lord's declaration of what marriage is. But the decision is on their conscience and they must decide whether this lasting spiritual loss is, in their judgement, outweighed by a call of God to seek spiritual gain in a second marriage. (p20)Pastoral care in such cases is not to be exercised by offering a marriage service in church but neither should divorcees, whether remarried or not, be excommunicated.
This then is how it works - a strict rule as to what marriages the Church will celebrate that truth may not be blurred; a great readiness in pastoral dealings to bring such people back into fellowship with the Church and into the fellowship of the sacraments, that love may have its perfect work. (p23)This presumes a practice of church discipline with regard to admission to Holy Communion which provides a context for training in discipleship.
In pastoral ministry what matters most is to discover the moral condition of the sinner. There may be striking evidence that the Holy Spirit has brought and is brining such people to a real discovery of Christ. There may indeed be evidence that the Holy Spirit is doing this through the marriage of two persons, one or both of whom may have been divorced. Are they to be told that they must disregard all their now accepted, and perhaps long-standing obligations to one another and to children, break up their home, and commit themselves to lifelong celibacy?Of course not.
That would generally be not to help them, but to 'quench the spirit', and might even appear to frustrate the work of the Holy Spirit in and through their union. In such cases there must be a place for discretion, and our own Church provides one.But one point depends on the other.
Only if the Church is bearing uncompromisingly its witness to the truth of marriage by refusing to marry divorced persons, can it without damage and without causing confusion use discretion in its pastoral work whereby it seeks to build up those, who can never again bear a full witness to Christ's conception of marriage, into a lowly, penitent, and really blessed life in the grace of God and the strength of the sacraments of the Church. (p27)
